I have found my Joy, it's the Joy of loving You.

Finally.....I am very much at home. 

 

It’s the 10^th day of my 3^rd summer in Uganda. It’s been a full year since I’ve set foot here. A full, hard heck-of-a year working full time by day while pursuing a degree in behavioral therapy and special education by night. After a year of feeling in a constant state of work and unrest in NYC, it’s good to be home on this side of the world where things move noticeably slower and the world feels as if it is blanketed in peace under the golden African sunlight. It has been pure joy for me to hug and dance and read books with the sweet kids I’ve loved and watched grow for the past three years. It is joy to respond to my sweet students calling for their “Auntie Jane” as they reach up to me for hugs and kisses. I notice they’re all a little bit taller and a little bit smarter (they’ve learned more English and they reach for tougher books to read :) and it fills me with unspeakable joy to see these children reaching for life in all their resilience, despite the poverty and injustices that surround them.

Dan was sitting on my lap when he grabbed for my pen. I thought for sure he'd scribble all over my notebook. Instead he started writing letters and sometimes full words! Most of his words aren't recognizable English, but he does speak multiple tribal languages and I will give him the benefit of the doubt haha. I always knew he was brilliant :D 

For the past 10 days, I’ve simply reveled in the joy of feeling home and the goodness of a God who loved me enough to bring me back into this beautiful place. Each morning and night, I’m overwhelmed with thankfulness that I get to teach and love His children here. It has been pure joy seeing my sister grow in faith while discovering her own place and her own stories in this country that never fails to bring out the best in the people I love the most. I’ve been reminded that the joy here is really deep, while the hard here is really hard. 

My sister meets the kids for the first time! The kids love her and she is just amazing with them! 

Discovering the magic of "Beautiful Oops." Possibly one of the best children's books ever made!

The little ones dancing at church 

Pure love in the girls' dormitory 

One day, I’m walking through a cornfield hand in hand with my past 3^rd-grader Sophie, who is now quite the fiery young lady, as we plan out her “happy birthday party,” which entails a trip into town for ice cream and a new pair of shoes. She wears a crown of flowers and she’s dressed in her Sunday best. “Sophie, are you a princess?” I ask her. She says, “No, I am a queen.”

In town for Kevin, Anisha, and Sophie's birthday party - they turn 12, 10, and 11 years old respectively! And yes, Yen that is your old dress! :D

That Friday night, I lay my hands on sweet Anisha’s head as about a dozen children gather around me. They all reach their hands towards this strong little 10-year-old as we pray for healing from malaria. We pray for healing to fall from heaven, right now in the name of Jesus. By Sunday morning, she’s leading dance at church and I see that contagious smile of hers that I’ve missed oh so much. I say “Anisha, who healed you?”

 “Jesus” she says, with a smile so big her little face can hardly contain it.

In the afternoons here, my sister and I use our violin and guitar to play children’s worship songs in English, Swahili, and Lugandan. One of my prayers for this summer is to be able to lead people in worship and so far, we’ve been doing it almost every day! When we play at the orphanage, dozens of children as well as teachers and staff gather around to listen, sing, and dance with us. Children and adults from the surrounding town peer in through the gates to listen and worship with us too. As we sing and dance so unreservedly, the presence of God pours out of the orphanage and into the streets of this small, simple town of Busia – straight into the homes of families and into the nearby shops. Sometimes, we play music at the house where we stay and children from the neighborhood wander in to worship with us. Isn’t that exactly what Jesus loves to do? He seeks out the poorest places and transforms them into sources of Joy. He reveals Himself first to the orphans and the widows. He uses the weak to lead the strong.

Singing "Jesus loves me" with our neighbors Treasure and Jordan, as well as my sweet old friend Shamim. 

Dance party at the house!

Worship at the orphanage

My greatest joy since returning to Uganda has been seeing the miracle and life that is Mukisa Alex. Alex is the bravest, most resilient boy I may ever know. His name means “Blessed Warrior” and all of us at the house agree it is the perfect name for this incredible child of God. I was introduced to him two years ago, as the small quiet boy that would always sit front and center of my 4^th grade class. He always had cotton balls sticking out of his little ears. He loved writing letters, and during drawing time, he’d ask for a ruler so he could make perfectly straight lines. 

Alex in my Primary four class two years ago :)

He told me about the chronic pain in his ears, and the difficulty he had hearing from time to time. God moved mountains before our eyes and we were able to take him to the hospital to receive the proper treatment. Last summer, Alex experienced healing for the first time and years! I watched him grow in confidence and strength in the last few weeks before I had to leave. It’s been a year since I last saw him, and I thought for sure the once chronic infection would have reappeared by now. But King Jesus is also a Healer. Today, Alex is fully healed. He break dances like a pro and plays three drums simultaneously during church. One day, I picked up my phone and saw that he had taken about 20 selfies while making funny faces, and I cried cried and cried with joy knowing that he is finally free from pain and able to access the freedom that God created him for all along. 

Alex playing 3 drums at our welcoming ceremony...absolutely beaming. 

Alex modeling :D. This boy has my heart. 

Alex tells me he wants to be an ear doctor when he grows up. He wants to heal other children’s ears in Uganda, because that is what God did for him. He might just grow up to be the best ear doctor Uganda has ever had. God turns suffering into compassion. I know Alex will never give up on his patients. He can understand their pain and their battle fully.

“Alex who loves you the most?”

Jesus, he says. Jesus loves me most. 

The way Jesus loves us is so very different from what the world teaches us about love. The world teaches us that perfect love should be painless, effortless, and should result in “happily ever after.” But walking life with Jesus on this side of heaven is hardly any of those things. He walks with us through the storms. And when the storms get rough, He pulls us closer. And I am finding that the more storms God walks me through, the more I can say “I really trust you. I really really love you.”

Thanking God for baby Linda on this night. She nearly passed away 2 years ago of severe malnutrition. She is a living breathing miracle to all of us here. 

Baby Linda today. Full of sass and life!

So as my short 10 days at New Hope Orphanage come to a close, and my next 7 weeks at Ekisa home for special needs children begin, I’m choosing to say no to fear, and yes to Jesus. It’s a daily choice because it’s a difficult one. But each morning I choose Jesus and each night I give thanks. Thank you Jesus! Thank you for loving me enough to invite me into this beautiful country with you for a third time. Thank you for allowing me to use my education to improve the lives of your beautiful children with disabilities here. Sometimes I wonder how I came to love Uganda so much. I don’t think it was ever my own idea. I’m pretty sure that if it were just me, I wouldn’t choose this life. But when you fall in love with Jesus, His desires become your very own. I don’t know where my dreams end and where His begin anymore. Maybe they are exactly the same thing. 

 “I belong to my lover and His desires are for me.” {Song of songs 7:10}

My sweet student Shadrach. He has been recently complaining of pain in his eyes and trouble seeing well. We are taking him to the doctor soon and praying for God to move mountains. Please pray for this beautiful child of God - he knows the love of his Heavenly Father and we are all believing for healing.